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Rising to the Occasion
By Gina Jaber
There are certain events in life that I used to think I would forfeit participating in, if I had a choice. I’m referring to occasions that I secretly dread and dream of disappearing from, hoping no one will notice.
Admittedly, more than once, I’ve had this attitude about Christmas. Unlike when I was a child, the word “December” can now prompt a moan from me. I have inwardly resented the fact that I must partake in an inescapable, frenzied holiday whose duties have no end. I brace myself for the endless demands that will be placed on me and for the knowledge of all I will be expected to deliver. I have felt trapped into a madness that I’ve not always been up for.Though I know I’m not alone, I am in no way proud of my Scrooge-like attitude. Shame on me, I tell myself.
As I sort through my guilt for complaining about Christmas, I consider the alternative. What would my life be like if there weren’t any obligatory occasions forcing my involvement? I try to picture how I would use my newfound free time in meaningful and enriching ways. And frankly, with some mandatory events, I can easily think of better ways to fill the hours. (Let’s face it, some of those graduation ceremonies can be long.)
But in most cases, when I’m being really honest with myself, I know I can’t skip these events.To miss out on occasions that are sometimes painfully predictable, but also critical for relationshipbuilding, would be a tremendous loss.
Though special ceremonies or seasonal events may require a lot of shopping, cooking, decorating or whatever, they also offer the chance to be with young and old—a chance that may not always be there. And further, they make space for the things we truly enjoy. (In my case, that would be family time, fireplaces, Scrabble and definitely pecan pie.)
With this perspective, I’m beginning to understand that what I start out resenting ends up being far more important and worthwhile than the quiet time, movie, book or walk that I tended to glamorize. And isn’t this precisely the message we want our teens to understand when they are ready to ditch us for their friends? My own words come soaring back at me:“One day you’ll be glad you did this, trust me.”
Besides appreciating the value of going through the trouble and embracing what it takes to pull off Christmas, I also now realize that simply having important occasions to complain about is an incredible luxury. (More guilt.)
While having a choice of what to do with free time is wonderful, I am coming to appreciate, maybe even more, the things in which I have no choice but am just plain lucky to have—inconveniences and all.
